you and i ignite like all the stars between us

life  |  13 ♥s

In my previous entry, I said that I was pretty much alone because one of my best friends failed a unit? Lately, I’m just not sure what to do with her.

For the last past weeks I feel like I’ve been talking to a wall. Whenever I try asking her anything or bringing up anything, she merely replies with little energy, ‘hmmmm.’ Her despondent attitude lately has made all my other friends a little fed up – and I slightly am too.

I understand that she’s depressed because of her failing and that she has a jerk of a boyfriend (I’ll elaborate on that later). And I know that as friends we should be trying to support her as much as possible but her attitude of late is wearing thin. My other friends said that she was being selfish but I’m not sure what to think. Of course she’s going to be depressed that she failed…

Her boyfriend is a jerk. I hate him and while I only met him once, my impression of him after hearing her stories has only worsened. He’s 29 – 10 years older than her – and while I’m not judging, one has to think why after so many years, he hasn’t been able to maintain long-term relationship.

He’s a tight-ass. I have no idea what he does with his money but EVERYTIME they go out to eat, she has to pay. None of this 50/50 stuff. The only time he paid was when she asked him to but after that he gave her the cold shoulder. Seriously? He’s working full time while she’s still a student working only a couple hours a week.

She complains to me. And I tell her to either confront him about it properly or dump him. She’s told me countless times that she’s going to dump him but she never seems to go through with it. I’m under the impression that she’s afraid of being alone but wouldn’t you rather be alone than feeling worthless in a relationship?

She won’t listen to any of us when we talk about her failing or her boyfriend. Nothing’s getting through. She keeps complaining and when we suggest something, she doesn’t listen.

I don’t know. I know I can’t force her to do anything but it’s so disheartening to be helpless in watching someone become a ghost of themself.

In other news, I didn’t win anything for the Between The Lines contest (but awesome Amano came 3rd! Congrats bb). I suppose my icons aren’t that pretty and simplistic :S

I think my friend’s gloom is spreading *flees*

13 Comments

1. amano said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 3:24 pm

   We, as a friend, don’t want our friends to be the suffered one, right? Just they won’t listen to us sometimes. Some of them lack of their senses. Relationship is like alcohol to some of them, they don’t know and they refuse to listen to our advice.

   That boy is surely a jerk. I have a friend like that too. He asked his gf to pay and he took the money from his gf’s wallet. What a shame. It’s not like it always has to be bf who pays first, but if you always ask from gf, it’s really, shameless.

   For these kind of friends, we are helpless. I don’t care about them anymore. If they find me to complain, I will kick them away. If you are really troublesome by your relationship, why don’t you end it? Right?

   Of course she can be depressed, but the world isn’t going to end, she has to stand up and face it all. Sorry for being so mean to her… Ack, I really don’t know what is she thinking. .________.

   *pats*
   It’s really troublesome to have this kind of friend, especially when she is one of your best friends. *sighs*

   Thanks! Aww, it was a good contest, and it’s ok if didn’t win. I like your icons! I really have no idea how do you colour and make it so peaceful-like, all the colour scheme are so soft (plus, they look so HQ to me)! I don’t know how to describe but I always admire your coloring styles!

   ———–
   Hahaha, then do you like Kyo?
   I bet that it will take a long time for you to work on fansite… ^^; But, study first!

   *sending happy charm* Be happy, Misaki! <3

2. Jia said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 3:36 pm

   You poor thing :-( If it were me.. hm, I’d probably sit her down and give it out to her. She really needs a dash of water to the face to wake up from the trance a relationship puts one in. Once you’re in, your whole perspective and rationality gets flipped! Also, you are her friend, correct? Be blunt. You care about her. Let her know that. Then prod her and give her the low down; is this what she really wants?

   I hope your troubles get resolved soon!

3. Misaki said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 5:20 pm

   Hi Jia!

   I’ve tried to slap some sense into her but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to work. I’ve told her she needs to dump him but the moment I do, she immediately goes to defend him while I nod, thinking about all the times that she complained about him :S I guess there’s nothing to do but it’s just so sad to see that happen.

   Thank you *hugs*

4. Shiki said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 10:56 pm

   such an ass. she should just break it up with him. besides, she’s 19 and can still find someone better than him. I don’t think I’m suppose to say this but a 29 yr old can simply trick a 19 yr old../shrug. seriously, for some reason, I think that the boyfriend only take advantage of your friend. if he really is serious with her, then he wouldn’t rely on her money all the time. geez. such jackass.

   sadly, one of my friends is like this too. she was tricked once by an online boyfriend. he said he’s 18, and that he’s in London and he’s half Japanese but when I tracked him down, he’s 15, and is in Washington, not London. and plus, he isn’t Japanese… he flees when I talk to him in Japanese,saying he’s busy and all. and in the end, my friend cried. so damn stupid,yo. she never see his picture, they just met online and he can always manipulate her mind. and now she’s getting attached to online boyfriend again. seriously.. she’s 17, 2 yrs older than me and is still as dumb as a 5 yr old ==” she really wants a boyfriend it seems.

   your friend is depressed alright, but she’s exaggerating it. I mean, people get depressed all the time..some of them even get suicidal like *cough*me*cough* but yeah.. she gotta stand and face it. ==

   it amazes me that you still stay patient with this kind of friend. if I were you, I’d probably ignore her.. ==

5. tracee said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 8:25 am

   He sounds completely… argh! Terrible! Worse than terrible!! How he doesn’t pay for her, or at least pay half even though he’s 29 and has a job… She should definitely break up with him. Idk… but.. it must be hard for you too, since she complains about him and doesn’t do anything about it

6. Shiri said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 11:37 pm

   I soo understand. I mean as a friend you do want to comfort your friend is she is having a bad time in her life. BUT it’s annoying if it’s “too much”. I mean I do understand that you’d like her to just.. make her life better. Because she could..possibly.. by first of all leaving that awful boyfriend of hers.

7. Caro said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 2:01 am

   Sorry I haven’t commented in such a long time!
   If you’ve already tried talking to your friend, maybe you should just give it time. She definitely needs to break up with her boyfriend…I mean seriously? Using her like that? I think she’ll realize eventually that she can’t go on being listless and sad about her exam results which she can’t change. What does her boyfriend think of her being depressed though? Maybe he’ll be the one to break up with her.

8. DEI said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 2:48 am

   Ah, I know how you feel to have a friend like that. I was like that with my ex. He would just use me and use me, degrade me, talk bad behind my back etc, and I would just act as if he wasn’t doing any of it. I would even badmouth my friends when they tried to tell me exactly how it is. It’s like – love works mysteriously and you sometimes get pulled under heavily without even knowing it. Until, one day, you “magically” break the spell and realize that this person is not the one for you. All you all can do is just be supportive the best way you guys can. Despite the whole gloom and doom attitude she has. She’ll realize soon that that is not the way she wants to be. Even if you do have to talk to her a few times about it.

   Anyways thanks for the comment on my blog! Now time to answer.. hehe. It is a lot noiser than in the suburbs and because I live close to a “party” street on Friday and Saturday nights you can here drunken people stumbling about… and I’m all the way on the 9th floor! A lot goes on too.. because you know after all, it is city. But its not as bad as New York. I’m definitely going to post pictures. I may do a week in a review of what I wore post every Sunday. We’ll see.

   Same with me, all i ever do is read manga, I don’t really have time to sit down and try to watch a series. lol And sure I’d love to be blog buddies! I added you already. ♥

9. amano said:
   August 11th, 2011 at 12:21 am

   True! I see that you always read shoujo manga that have warm feeling, uhm, that feeling that warms up the heart? I don’t know how to say, but it’s really warm to see it.

10. amano said:
    August 11th, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    I admire those girl that dares to confess and still choose to stay by his side, peacefully and appreciate for love. LOL.

    Have you read Otomen? It’s shoujo manga but the main lead is a boy! OMG. How funny and looks fresh topic to me! XD

    I read shounen most of the time, until this internship comes. I doubt will I still read shoujo once the internship ends. :3

11. amano said:
    August 11th, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    No more, I just read what I saw on your fanlisting, except manhwa, haven’t read them at all. Koukou Debut?

    You?

12. Kris said:
    August 11th, 2011 at 1:40 am

    I don’t think your friend is being selfish, but I don’t think she should keep acting like that. Though I’ve never literally failed, I’ve had to repeat courses because I missed a lot of classes, still I got over it. I know depression isn’t something that helps at all.

    That boyfriend sounds like a total jerk. Plus dating someone 10 years older is a bit creepy in my opinion. He should be more responsible if he really is that age, isn’t that why girls date guys that much older? They want someone nice and responsible. I’d rather be alone than have a worthless relationship. Hopefully your friend will come to realize that.

    Haha, my mom speaks Engrish to me. She’s been here for about 30 years so her grammar is good, but her accent sounds like any Korean person. I really don’t like speaking Korean though. I can probably do it all day … I did it for two weeks come on haha, but it really hurts my head. I don’t understand it completely but I can catch on a little bit of the meaning. And that’s listening, I can hardly speak.

    I don’t mind if guys wear some guyliner for performances. If they do that on everyday streets I’d be a little creeped out.

    I do have a few friends who are going to the same college as me, but I count them more as aquaintances. Hopefully I’ll make some new friends? Hmm.

13. Brice said:
    August 11th, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    I know how you exactly feel. I had a friend just like that. Every time I tell her something or I bring something up, it’s no use. It’s like talking to wall. This friend is stuck up, self-centered, and cold-hearted. All this friend cares about is the television shows. That seems to be more important then our friendship. I kicked her to the curb because I realized I don’t need friends like her. It’s the quality of friends not the quantity of friends.

    This friend’s boyfriend was a jerk too. He yelled at our other friend because her and our friend wanted to hang-out. This friend never said anything. It was done in public at a church. I was angry when I heard about that. Your suppose to stick up for your friends. Unfortunately, this friend didn’t. I was very dissappointed. There’s two sides of him: stuck up and nice.

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